One of the purposes of my blog has been to post items about my kids and try and keep everyone up to date on the happenings of our family. And for all intents and purposes, I am well aware that for the most part, this blog is really mine and my kids journal.
This post is going to be a little bit different. I feel the need for myself to put into writing some of the thoughts I have about the past few years and the effect it has had on me and my children. Never in my wildest dreams did I think fifteen years ago when I married my husband in the San Diego temple, that I would be faced with one of life's biggest challenges- to accept and move on after your supposed eternal companion lies, cheats and ultimately betrays all promises made.
But even more so than that challenge has been to feel the betrayal and the hurt that comes with it from friends and family who you thought would be supportive and sensitive to a situation which they would never want to find themselves in. Would you like your husband of fifteen years to cheat on you with someone that you have grown up with and loved like family? That betrayal is hard to deal with. But even worse is to read comments and congratulations to the recently engaged happy couple. What is there really to celebrate about a relationship that is based on destroying a family. That had it's beginnings in betrayal, deception, secrecy and lies. I find it hard to see where the happiness is for two children who have to deal with a broken family. Have we really departed so far from the path of right that as long as people "get married" and make it legal, then everything is okay?
I would love to believe in the cliche that cheaters never prosper or that somehow kharma etc. will come back to balance out the wrongs. But I am also a realist and accept the fact that people do not always get justice or fairness in a situation. That often times, people who do the wrong thing never really have to suffer the consequences for their actions. I get it. But I do hope at the very least that a guilty conscience will sometimes niggle at both of them for what they have done. Maybe, maybe not.
Life goes on and I have had my say. But I know that I cannot offer up my congratulations to them or any wishes for future happiness. Just can't.
3 comments:
I feel for you and your situation, Michele. I did not realize we had so much in common, unfortunately, the group of women in our situation is vast and I find there is not much solace in our great numbers.
Aside from your pain and hurt, I hope you are doing well and can enjoy the good things life does have to offer. Take care.
Lisa Winn
Tooele, Utah
It's not Natalie, it's Kristy...
Well said Michele. I too am baffled at the well wishes from others for them.
I know that there is little consolation in the here and now that they will eventually need to answer to Heavenly Father for the broken covenant and destruction of the family unit... but it will be answered for.
In the meantime, the new wife will have the constant dread of when he will cheat next... because it will be "when" and not "if".
I hope you feel the big hug I'm sending you. You're an amazing mom and strong woman. I adore you and am proud of you and the strength and grace you exhibit despite the trials you've been given.
Love you cuz!
Hey there shelie! Love "your say"---you say it girl! The bummer is that Lake Isabella is yours and now it is tainted negatively. But, you, strong lady you, will conquer and overcome the pain and hurt. You will.
p.s. I love that I just discovered you are blogging again. Big smoochers to the boys (and I'm still checking on the beach availability....)
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